YO peoples! :D

i don't know why this few days I'm so freaking tired..

10 pm something I lie on my bed and sleep...

O.O

what happened to me?

i don't know.

2011...

just started 3 months..i already felt very bored..

not bored..just..aihhh!

i don't know what to say..I don't know what the shit Im thinking..

just felt that a lot things had change..

and I don't know what to do with it..

friend told me that I changed too..

Im quite now..

seriously quite....

not that I don't want to talk..

sometimes I just control myself talk less and listen more..

because I found that the way I talk will hurt my friends..

so, I prefer not to talk..

sometimes I really not in the topic that they talk,

so I just keep quite..

I also a human..I have feelings too..

I can feel that although you all didn't mention it.

I sit down ,you go off,

you sit down, I sit down, you go off..

when you sit down..

Im always been at somewhere else..

okay that's hard to understand i know..

but I'm sorry.

talking a topic..when I came,

change the topic quickly...

what I have to do is just keep quite and smile..

like nothing happen.

Its be a long long time dint tell them secrets..

why?

don't know who to talk to..

the point is nobody cares..

that's true.

play games or whatever..

they will not find me

and of cause Im standing there and watch..

that's fun too..

i found a thousand ways to comfort myself

Forcing myself to believe that tomorrow will be find..

but I failed a thousand times.

Im seriously a failure..

but, although I said I'm a failure,

I don't ever do things that hurt myself before..

the injuries in my hand last year..

i really don't know how to explain..

but I SWEAR that I DID NOT hurt myself..

if I really did that, the injuries must still on my hand now..

but my hand is recover.not even one injuries.

believe or not is your choice..

yea..I'm bad in study.

I got very low marks in my exam..

but you can't say that I dint study..

I really studied..I've try my best,

although the result is still not so good,

but I'd try..

father pressure me and say I must study hard..

and go Australia study..

He said that 2 years ago..but at last the plan failed

because of me.

I felt embarrass to myself..

I always disappointed my parents..

everybody must be pro in something..

like someone very pro in sports,

someone very pro in study

someone very pro in acting or singing or music

someone very pro in art

someone pro in everything..

but Im not the someone.

not even one.

I'd learnt so much musical instrument for what?

in the end ,

that all is useless for me in my future..

I join other gang in Leo,

and they saw.

I don't know what they've say..

i know what they think

but not really sure.

they seldom talk to me..

and they don't want me to know too.

i don't really understand why they do that to me..

or just I think too much?

i dont think so.

I like to talk with boys..

is not that I flirt them or what..

sometimes they are really nice to talk

and we have topic to talk.

the topic we talk is not suit to talk with you all..

I am a starstruck and you all not..

I wish I could go back to the time when Im still young..

the age that i dont know everything..

the time that we happy together

the time we share secret together

the time we gossip together

the time we care for each other

and a lot more.

well, this is just what in my mind..

cannot say out so write out..

i know what is the feeling after they read this..

I will say never mind..

if they hate this.

I will say Sorry ,

if they like this.

I will say thank you

if they see this.

By The Way,

they are AWESOME!

they just very special in my life,

I really don't wish to lost them..

really.

I gtg，

sleep and tomorrow will be find. :)

bye.